A look at WWE TLC 2012: Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena for the MITB contract

This week…

TLC 4: December 16, 2012, Brooklyn, New York, Barclays Center

This was the first WWE show ever at the Barclays Center. Cole, Lawler and JBL on the sticks. 

– Dark Match:  JTG defeated David Otunga in a singles match

– Pre-show Match: Naomi won the Santa’s Little Helper battle royal to determine the number one contender to the WWE Divas Championship, by eliminating Kaitlyn last

Main:

– Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio vs. Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes and Damian Sandow) in a tables match to become the number one contenders to the tag team championship

  • How did they drop the ball on this team?  I love the Rhodes Scholars!
  • Only one member of the team has to go through the table.
  • King made a joke about manila envelopes that legit got Cole to crack.
  • Sandow has to be on that post Wrestlemania clearinghouse list with Alex Riley.
  • Fun match with some nice flying spots and a pretty sick bump for the finish.
  • Cody shoved Sin Cara off the top rope and it launched him through the table outside the ring.
  • Then Sandow did a cartwheel.  Why did they break up?  Why are we being punished with Stardust?

– Antonio Cesaro (c) vs. R Truth for the WWE U.S. Championship

  • Cesaro’s old music was terrible.
  • I’ve heard that R Truth is Vince’s favorite wrestler.  How?
  • I’m glad Cesaro stopped wearing the weird leg wraps.
  • Cole with some accusations that JBL hides money in Swiss banks.  Then JBL corrected him and said his money was actually hidden in the Cayman Islands.  IRS, are you listening? 
  • Cesaro apparently has a real broken hand during this match. 
  • Is Little Jimmy still around? 
  • Cesaro wins with the Neutralizer.
  • Stryker then got in the ring and asked Cesaro what he thought about the crowd booing him?  Cesaro said he was the greatest U.S. Champion, which he may have been, until this last John Cena U.S. Championship Open run.

Ugh, then we got a bunch of “Touts.”  Remember those awful things?  WWE kills everything it touches. 

Josh Matthews interviews Dolph Ziggler about illegality, then Dolph says he will be the biggest star in 2013, and he will end John Cena’s career.

Then the Miz is introduced and comes to the ring for a Miz TV segment.  I love all WWE in ring TV shows.  It’s hilarious to me that they put seats and couches in the ring on a red carpet.  I now hate this show, as he brought out Three Man Band.  I change my mind.  I love it again.  3MB claims they are better than Jay Z.  I’d agree.  Miz’s zingers must have been written by 6th graders.  Then 3MB does a rather racist angle by calling out the Spanish announce team and running them down for not speaking English.  Ricardo comes to the rescue but starts to get bullied, until Del Rio makes the save.  Finally, Miz and Del Rio clean house to save the Mexicans.  So it’s going to be Miz and Del Rio and a partner of their choice to take on 3MB later. 

Now we see Kane and Daniel Bryan backstage as Team Hell No.  Short hair and medium beard Bryan seems so odd now.  They get hyped to take on The Shield later.

Now Stryker interviews Wade Barrett.  I guess we’d seen too much wrestling in a row and needed five talking segments.

Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston (c) for the Intercontinental Championship, a.k.a. The Kiss of Death Championship

  • Wade is on a winning streak coming into this match.  Must have been nice.
  • Remember when the IC title made you the number one contender to the World title?  Which makes Kevin Owens next in line.  I’m fine with that.
  • Kofi beat Wade after an average match and a Trouble in Paradise kick.

We now see CM Punk in a skybox with Paul Heyman.  Punk is on crutches.  He’s giving us a status update on his knee.  He’s wearing his Knees 2 Faces shirt, as he runs down Brooklyn and calls them dumb.  Hey now, words hurt too.  He then runs down Ryback, and reminds us that he is a fan of The Shield but not involved with them and that he’s the longest reigning WWE champion of the modern era.  Day 392.

Ryback and Team Hell No (Kane and Daniel Bryan) vs. The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, and Seth Rollins) in the first ever six-man TLC tag match

  • Since no belts are hanging, this is basically just a weapons match. 
  • Poor Reigns is still having to do that dumb crowd entrance.
  • It starts in a big brawl. 
  • A lot of mainly ladder smashing spots.  Why would you ever climb in this match?  But… I’ll bet that happens anyway.
  • Ryback was going for a double shell shock.  I hope he gets it later.  Now it’s isolation on Ryback.
  • Reigns screams at the Spanish announce team.  Poor fellas.  Their table is about to get broken.  Triple power bomb by The Shield on Ryback through the table. 
  • The Shield is laying waste to all three guys with some interesting table stuff.
  • Ambrose took a choke slam through a chair, which looked like it sucked.
  • Reigns speared Kane through the barricade.  The timekeeper looked terrified. 
  • WWE rule number 2:  Don’t go for a belly to back suplex on Daniel Bryan.  He will back flip out of it. 
  • “This is Awesome,” chants for a match with Ryback, after, of course, the “Goldberg” chants.
  • I think Tim Kennedy could beat Ryback. 
  • This match is still going on.  The Shield is beating Ryback with chairs out on the ramp. 
  • Yep, Seth is climbing a ladder!  Ryback is climbing after him.  Ryback tossed him off the ladder through the double table stack.
  • Daniel Bryan was pinned by Reigns after a power bomb off the top turnbuckle through a table.
  • Fun match!

Eve Torres vs. Naomi in a singles match for the WWE Divas Championship

  • Eve won with the neck breaker.  Then her husband told Ronda Rousey she was doing great after round one.  Great career advice.

Big Show (c) vs. Sheamus for the World Championship in a chairs match

  • I really hope they cancel the chairs match this year. 
  • Chair shots are legal, but we’re supposed to believe that neither man has the desire to hit his hated rival in the head with one. 
  • Big Show Choke Slammed Seamus, but Seamus kicked out so Big Show went out and threw in 10 more chairs, because that will help.
  • Seamus hit White Noise on to some chairs, but Show kicked out.
  • Knock Out Punch by Show, and Seamus kicked out.  Big Show’s finish is a punch.  A punch!  Why doesn’t he win every match?
  • Big Show pulls out a monster-sized folding chair!  What?  Hilarious!  He hit Sheamus with the really large folding chair for the pin.  Why would that be under the ring?  Why would it exist?

John Cena is backstage throwing air punches and AJ Lee walks up in a Cena shirt, which she cut to look girly.  Cena told her he was going to beat Dolph. 

Three Man Band vs. Miz, Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez), and the Brooklyn Brawler

  • The air guitar playing by 3MB pales in comparison to the air guitar played by the New Day.
  • Del Rio rolls out in his Lamborghini.  The person in the room watching with me just proclaimed, “This is really stupid.” 
  • Then the Brooklyn Brawler came out.  He was wearing a number 8, Deron Williams, Brooklyn Nets NBA Jersey. 
  • Heat on Brawler as the announcers just name old wrestlers with dumb gimmicks.
  • Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Jinder Mahal then Brawler put him in the Brooklyn crab for the submission win.

John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler in a ladder match for the Money in the Bank contract

  • Dolph was putting a sleeper on Cena and Cena still climbed the ladder until Cena fell and put both of them through a table.
  • WWE rule 3:  Tables are allowed in ladder matches.  But not chairs.  We mean it.
  • Cena lifted a ladder with Ziggler on it, onto his shoulders.  Really cool spot.
  • JBL is vehemently opposed to this match, as it’s unfair to Dolph, somehow. 
  • Zig Zag on Cena.
  • Cena was busted hard way. 
  • Dolph must have gotten my memo on ladder climbing speed.  Cena did not.
  • JBL spouts out some stats about Ziggler’s amateur wrestling credentials, and Cole said that those don’t matter.  Noted.
  • Wait, chairs are legal after all.  So WWE Rule 4 is now: All ladder matches are TLC matches.
  • Vicki runs down and gets a chair to hit Cena, but AJ runs in and makes the save.  She bumps Vicki then does the “You Can’t See Me,” then Cena starts to climb the ladder and AJ turns on Cena and shoves over the ladder.  Dolph super kicks him and climbs the ladder and wins back his brief case.
  • Great finish.  Great match actually. 
  • The crowd went nuts on the AJ turn and on the Dolph win. 

Great show.  Well worth watching.  It’s now number one on the list, which is now 4,3,1,2.