WWE Main Event results: #SocialOutcasts go viral in Laredo

The newly-formed Social Outcasts open the show to successfully live down Monday night’s abysmal introductory promo. They enter to Heath Slater’s theme, which does nothing to dispel assumptions that this grouping will be 4MB in all but name. The graphic at the bottom of the screen suggests that there will be no hashtag in the faction’s title; however, one is prominently featured on their bland (and presumably placeholding) TitanTron video.

Slater beings by screaming: “Forever trending baby, Social Outcasts!” before encouraging the WWE Universe to take their penicillin…as he and his cronies are about to go viral. What chance have we got against anitbiotic-resistant bacteria when opinion-moulders like Slater are peddling misinformation like this? Shameful.

Adam Rose leans in to bring the weirdness again. He talks in floral metaphors before throwing off his spectacles and announcing to the world that he does in fact have 20/20 vision. Okay.

Slater goes to start flapping his gums again, but becomes distracted by Curtis Axel’s frantic pacing in the background. This allows Bo to jump in, telling us that poor Curtis may be very upset, but he is about to release some of that inner anger on The Usos. Bo states that he and his new jobber pals will be “walking the path of success together”. He then goes to deliver his catchphrase, only for the Usos’ theme to cut him off mid-sentence.

Jimmy shouts “Whoa!” like a million times, which somehow manages to get roughly five of this previously dead-silent Laredo crowd to chant along with him. The Usos clearly have taken issue with their names being mentioned in anger. Bo attempts to receive them with a friendly handshake as they climb into the ring, only for Axel to attack them and ruin the gesture. What a hothead. Predictably, Jimmy and Jey get the upper hand and clean house, leaving the Social Outcasts to run up the ramp and lick their wounds ahead of tonight’s featured contest. Yay.

– More promo “goodness” on an unusually talk-heavy installment of Main Event, as we get one of those “awesome” promos from the Star Room, in which Stardust says some cryptic things that may or may not be directed at his opponent for the night, Titus O’Neil.

Titus O’Neil def. Stardust by pinfall

This, of course, is a rematch from RAW the previous night, where Titus emerged victorious from a nothing match. We get an inset promo from The Big Deal as he makes his entrance, in which he tells us that 2016 will be his year. He said the same thing almost exactly two years ago – the last time the Prime Time Players went their separate ways. That didn’t go well. Remember Slater Gator?

Rich Brennan helpfully reminds us of the now-forgotten storyline of Titus attempting to get Stardust to drop this stupid gimmick. God forbid the matches have any actual motivation behind them or anything.

Titus’ weaknesses are masked by keeping this one short. Usual overhand chops in the corner to start, before Stardust works the left arm for a while for some reason. A missed crossbody off the top from Stardust leads into the comeback, as Titus hits the Pay Check, the Stinger Splash and the Clash of the Titus for the win.

Tyler Breeze def. Zack Ryder by pinfall

It’s hilarious that this aired just two days after the Breaking Ground season finale, in which Tyler’s triumphant promotion to the main roster was highlighted. What an unmitigated failure that has been. Breeze, of course, made his entrance alone here, after last week’s amicable parting of the ways with Summer Rae on Smackdown. Ugh.

These two only get three minutes to do their thing. Breeze escapes a Broski Boot by slipping under the bottom rope, only to eat a baseball slide for his troubles. Back in, and Ryder hits a running forearm in the corner. He goes up for the ten-punch, but gets crotched, which allows Breeze to – awkwardly – tie him up for the Unprettier and the win. I absolutely hate that finish, the aptness of its name in this instance notwithstanding.

– RAW Rebound: Focusing on the Roman/Vince developments and conveniently editing out Vince’s unbelievable botch before Scott Armstrong’s arrival on the scene.

The Usos def. Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel (w/ Heath Slater and Adam Rose)

Jerry Lawler, who joins Rich on commentary this week, speculates that Dallas may be the leader of this motley crew, as Dallas gets beaten on by Jimmy in the early going. Hands up who isn’t surprised that Jerry doesn’t know what Heath Slater’s music sounds like? Rich corrects him, to his credit, but of course Jerry no-sells the error.

Bo prevents getting tossed over the top rope, slipping under it limbo-style instead. He feels that this merits a well-earned victory lap. And is excitedly joined by the other three in what can only be described as a conga line of the damned. Slater air-guitars and Axel screams loudly. The crowd is silent.

Jimmy and Jey greet the completion of said victory lap with stereo dives to Bo and Axel leading into the final commercial break. We come back with Jey as your babyface-in-peril. He gets worked on for a while, also eating a cheap shot from Heath while the referee is distracted.

We eventually get what might charitably be referred to as a lukewarm tag to Jimmy, who cleans house with the usual samoan drop/hip attack/superkick offence. He goes up top to hit the Superfly Splash on Bo, only to get distracted by Slater’s presence on the apron. Jimmy chases him off, allowing Bo to catch him with an O’Connor Roll. Jimmy reverses it however, for the pinfall victory. So, the Social Outcasts’ unbeaten run lasts a whole 24 hours from inception, rendering Heath’s victory over Dolph Ziggler even more pointless. And tonight’s failed distraction finish makes Ziggler look like even more of an idiot for his part in the end of Monday’s match.

Final Thoughts:

Under ten minutes of in-ring action prior to the featured contest makes this an unusually promo-heavy edition of Main Event. The Social Outcasts opened the show with a chance to shine on the mic. They didn’t. But they did sustain their first loss as a group, only 24 hours after coalescing. 4MB it is, then. I hope Curtis, Bo and Adam have saved their money.