WWE Main Event results: The Dudley Boyz fall from grace continues, Jerry Lawler excellent on color

Mark Henry and Jack Swagger def. The Ascension via pinfall

Main Event breaks its two-week streak of in-ring promos in the opening segment by offering us this rematch of last week’s featured contest. It’s worth noting that this is the third time Swagger and Henry have teamed together; all three contests have featured The Ascension and the previous two both resulted in babyface victories.

Rich Brennan opines during the entrances that there is “something different” about Jerry Lawler, who, incidentally, began his recent heel turn on the first Main Event taping of 2016. Lawler responds that some people resolve to be more “kind, considerate and nice” at the turn of the year. The King, on the other hand decided to simply be himself!

This was a bog-standard, by-the-numbers, ten minute tag match. The heels gain control leading into the commercial break as is customary in the WWE; Viktor breaking up the Patriot Lock on Konnor while the referee is distracted.

After the break, Lawler’s amusing reminiscences about Royal Rumbles past punctuate the heat portion of the match. Lawler suggests that Roman should hide under the ring until the end of the Rumble, evoking memories of the 1996 edition of the match when he pulled the same stunt. Brennan, to his credit, takes that opportunity to make an appropriate reference to Santino’s 2011 near-miss.

After one tease when Konnor knocked Mizark from the apron, Swagger eventually gets the hot tag to his partner – completing a desperate crawl to the corner after a double clothesline spot. Henry runs wild on Viktor, before pausing to enjoy a “We The People” recitation with Swagger. This almost allows a recovering Konnor to attack him from behind. Instead, Swagger pushes Henry out of the way, allowing the World’s Strongest Man to level Viktor with the World’s Strongest Slam for the win. Three in a row it is then for Henry and Swagger, who one-up The Ascension leading into their next meeting on Sunday’s pre-show.

– Jojo is backstage with the Social Outcasts. Adam Rose continues to suck verily on the mic by referring to Slater, Bo and Axel as his “red dragon”, “enchanted shark” and “wild snowflake” respectively. Axel grumpily (and understandably) questions his moniker, before Bo cuts him off to inform us that these are “four best friends” with the same goal: “To win on Sunday!”

Heath cleverly sees a problem with this, pointing out that there can only be one winner and that he’s that man. At this point, Jojo interjects with a terribly worded question – something about their opponents, The Dudley Boyz, being veterans. Bo says that The Social Outcasts are not a team, they’re a family, while Heath adds that the Dudleyz party will be ruined tonight. The geeks walk off, only for Bo to return momentarily, Columbo-style, to remind Jojo to bo-lieve. This was awful.

Neville def. Tyler Breeze via pinfall

During Breeze’s entrance, Lawler asks Prince Pretty to “take a picture of Rich and let’s see how much that camera can take!” Ouch.

Nice five minute TV match here. Neville continues the intensity he showed in last week’s Smackdown main event, erupting so quickly out of the blocks at the bell that referee Mike Chioda has to briefly hold him back.

Breeze gets an early eye rake in as Chioda enforces a rope break, before following up with a supermodel kick for two. Breeze is incensed at the perceived slowness of the count, screaming “I’m not trying to be out here all night!” Which is funny because he then immediately applies a front face lock!

Neville goes up top for two failed attempts at the Red Arrow, the second of which sees him eat a dropkick. Breeze then sets him up for a Frankensteiner, only for Neville to hang on to the ropes and finally hit his finish for the win.

– We then get the same Rumble By Numbers segment, narrated by Byron Sexton, that aired on RAW.

Heath Slater and Curtis Axel w/ Bo Dallas and Adam Rose def. The Dudley Boyz via pinfall

Yes, you read that right. More humour from Lawler during the entrances here, as he states that the older the Dudleys get, “the better they were”. The King says he never liked them, prompting Rich to enquire about their ECW days. Lawler: “I never liked anyone in ECW!”

Long shine segment for the faces leads into the break, when the Dudleys hit a Reverse 3D on Axel, before tossing Heath from the ring behind him. Rose and Bo tend to their fallen brethren as we go to commercials.

We return with the heels turning the tables on their foes in more ways than one; Rose and Dallas causing a distraction by removing them from under the ring, which flummoxes the Dudleys into losing the advantage. The Outcasts of course waste time by celebrating with a victory lap, which Lawler amusingly dubs the “Bo Train”.

Axel and Heath take turns to get the heat on D-Von, before the latter gets cut off with a spinebuster. Hot tag to Bubba, who slams Axel off the top, before hitting a big boot and the bionic elbow. The huskier Dudley then follows up with a uranage (called correctly by Rich) for two.

Scoop slam and Wassup follow, leading into D-Von being informed that tables are required post-haste. That was as good as it got for the Dudleys. Rose and Dallas cut D-Von off at the pass, which concerns Bubba so much that he falls victim to the fatal distraction/schoolboy combo. Axelmania lives. Dumb finish and yet another loss for the Dudleys. They’ve only won two televised matches this year and haven’t won a conventional tag-team match via pinfall on RAW since they beat The Ascension on November 16th of last year. And everyone beats those guys.

Final Thoughts

Another weak edition of the show, highlighted only by Jerry Lawler’s continuing return to former glories as a heel announcer. Meanwhile, the eroding of any credit remaining in the Dudley account continues, as they lose to a joke outfit that got knocked out en masse by the Big Show on RAW. Bubba must surely be hoping and praying that the rumoured plans to give him a run as a singles heel are restored to the agenda as soon as possible. As for D-Von, what’s that Deacon guy up to these days, I wonder?