WWE SmackDown live results: The final build to WrestleMania 33

Date: March 28, 2017
Location: Richmond Coliseum in Richmond, VA

The Big Takeaway —

John Cena cut another memorable promo at the expense of Miz and Maryse on an otherwise dull SmackDown show.

The Women’s title match was announced as a 6-pack challenge featuring Alexa Bliss defending against Becky Lynch, Carmella, Mickie James, Natalya, and Naomi, who returned tonight.

Bray Wyatt defeated Luke Harper in their first ever TV match. Dean Ambrose and Baron Corbin were not on the show.

Show Recap — 

Mauro Ranallo is not on commentary. There was no explanation this week. 

AJ Styles-Shane McMahon Contract Signing

Daniel Bryan came out to a huge reaction. Bryan asked if the crowd was ready for WrestleMania and they chanted “Yes.” He introduced Shane McMahon who received a mixed reaction. He still has a bruised eye. AJ Styles was introduced next. He has a new black and red t-shirt with the word “Untouchable” on it. Crowd chanted for Styles.

Shane said when SmackDown Live started nine months ago, they had a vision and Styles was always part of this vision. One guy in the crowd yelled “Your sister’s hot!” and people laughed. Shane called Styles one of the best performers to ever step in the ring and the crowd cheered. Styles agreed. “Yeah, I’m pretty phenomenal!”

Shane talked about Styles’ growing fan support and winning the WWE championship. However, Styles became arrogant which cost him the title against John Cena and the match with Randy Orton. Shane said he always gave his opponents more than they expected and warned Styles if he didn’t give his A-game, it would be Shane’s hand raised at WrestleMania. Shane signed the contract, the crowd chanted for Styles.

Styles was about to sign but first asked Shane if he knew they were in just in a regular match. Shane can’t be outside the ring for more than 10 seconds and he can’t use a table. Styles questioned if Shane has even been in a match like that, and said the ring belonged to him. Styles called himself untouchable and said he would embarrass Shane.

Styles recalled Shane being in the ring with Kurt Angle, Shawn Michaels, Steve Austin, The Rock and Undertaker. (Austin’s name got the loudest reaction.) Styles called himself the greatest all-around performer in history and Shane would find out for himself on Sunday. Styles signed the contract. They got face to face before Bryan got in the middle and told them to shake hands. Shane offered his hand but Styles left the ring.

There will be more clips from Total Bellas on MizTV tonight.

Becky Lynch NC Carmella (w/James Ellsworth)

Alexa Bliss and Mickie James joined commentary, sitting on opposite ends of the table. Phillips said they still don’t know the details of the Women’s title match at Mania. That seems terribly unfair to Bliss. Carmella gave Ellsworth her gum and he stored it in his mouth.

Bliss called Mickie irrelevant and Mickie called herself one of the all-time greats. They got into a fight which spilled into the ring. Mickie smacked Carmella and the referee called for the bell. Mickie and Lynch were left standing as they cut to commercial.

Women’s champion Alexa Bliss & Carmella (w/James Ellsworth) defeated Becky Lynch & Mickie James

As the match plodding along, Natalya’s music hit and she walked down toward the ring for some reason. Another commercial. After a break, Natalya was on commentary. Mickie made the hot tag to Lynch who ran wild on Carmella hitting a dropkick and Exploder. Natalya called Lynch a cheap knockoff of Pippi Longstocking and jumped off commentary to get involved. Lynch was able to get rid of her, but Ellsworth grabbed Lynch by the leg allowing Carmella to roll her up for the win.

Everyone brawled after the match until Naomi returned to take everyone out. Naomi announced that she was back and entering the Women’s title match in her hometown. She began saying everyone would “feel the glow” but the crowd actually finished it for her.

Backstage, Breezy Bella asked Bryan to enter the Women’s match at Mania. He said no. Breeze took off his wig and Bryan feigned surprise to learn it wasn’t Nikki Bella. Fandango entered and Bryan asked if they wanted to be in the Andre the Giant battle royal. They were happy with that. Bryan put them in a 10-man tag match tonight, then jumped up and down in excitement with Breeze until Fandango pulled his partner away to get ready.

MizTV

They aired a new clip from Total Bellas Bull****. Miz, playing John Cena, sat at the dinner table wearing a Cena baseball cap and t-shirt with an oversized suit jacket. Maryse, playing Nikki Bella, wore a nice dress and baseball cap. “Cena” invited Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella to the table. Miz played Bryan. He had a fake beard and “walked” to the ring on his knees (as if they were his feet) and Maryse played Brie again. “Brie” was again confused which Bella she was until she realized she had a wedding ring.

“Cena” offered them steak but “Bryan” complained because he’s a vegan and it would hurt his tummy. As “Cena” listed the rules of the table, “Nikki” asked Cena to marry him. To be continued. They cut back to the ring and the crowd applauded their performances. Commercial break.

Back from break, “Cena” declined Nikki’s proposal because it would go against his brand of hustling the fans. “Cena” called himself a fake and you can’t see him because there’s nothing worth seeing.

Miz and Maryse took off their disguises and had a message for Cena and Nikki. Miz said Mania would be the curtain call for Cena and Nikki. Miz said Cena would just be a big dumb animal walking the streets, and Maryse hoped Nikki enjoyed the Kid’s Choice Awards because it’s as close to having kids with Cena as she was going to get. Back to the ring, Miz and Maryse soaked in the applause.

Cena and Nikki interrupted and were all smiles. Cena said he thought it was all very funny, but then just kind of mocked the whole thing. He called it one of the few good things Miz has done here. Cena said the parody didn’t bother them, but Miz and Maryse did. Then he got serious.

Cena noted that Maryse is here right now despite her claim that Nikki didn’t want her there. Cena told Maryse she wasn’t brought back before because she did nothing the first time. Cena admitted he was leaving to do a movie, but then he’d be back. He noted all the guys who have done this, including Triple H, Dean Ambrose, Sheamus and Miz himself. In fact, Miz only makes cheap knockoffs of Cena’s movies.

Cena still couldn’t figure out why Maryse even there and talked about the women’s revolution and her lack of involvement. He asked why they poked fun at them for not having kids when Miz and Maryse don’t either and wondered if Miz was firing blanks.

Cena warned Miz that he would crush him on Sunday. Cena said Miz can mock all of his rules, but in 10 years in WWE, Miz hasn’t learned the one rule that matters, which was to back up your talk. He called Miz a puss (or pussy – it was bleeped). He dared Miz to throw a bunch and warned Maryse that Nikki would knock the botox out of her cheeks.

Cena and Nikki waited for Miz and Maryse to take their shot but they left. Miz had a change of heart and ran back down to fight, but Maryse stopped him and they walked away. Nikki called them “fake-ass, see-through haters,” and would get their asses kicked at Mania. Cena and Nikki kissed.

10-Man Tag Match: American Alpha, Mojo Rawley, Heath Slater & Rhyno defeated The Usos, Breezango & Dolph Ziggler

The heels worked over Gable and there was a moderate “We want Mojo” chant. Rawley got the hot tag and ran wild on Breeze. He had the match won but an Uso broke up the cover. This led to a bunch of guys getting tossed over the top rope. Rhyno gored the hell out of Ziggler to a big pop. Rawley picked up the pinfall win after a running punch on Breeze.

Luke Harper promo. He said Bray threw him out like a piece of trash, but Harper sees the truth – he doesn’t need Bray Wyatt. Harper said he was free and told Bray to run.

The announcers ran down the WrestleMania 33 card. You know the show is going to be long when just reading the card takes 4 minutes. The SmackDown Women’s title match was now a 6-pack challenge with Bliss, Carmella, Lynch, James, Natalya and Naomi. The Raw tag title match was officially announced as a ladder match.

Non-title: WWE Champion Bray Wyatt defeated Luke Harper

As he as in recent house shows, Harper wore dark blue pants, a black tank top and his hair is tied back. Wyatt used a superplex, uranage and senton. Harper tried a Sister Abigail but Wyatt slipped outside. Harper followed with two suicide dives, a slingshot senton and big boot for a two count. Harper hit a discus clothesline for another two count.

Wyatt got to his knees and stared at up at Harper. Harper hesitated before going for another discus clothesline, but Wyatt caught him with Sister Abigail for the win. Match was 8 minutes and wasn’t much.

Wyatt got on his knees and posed with the title. Randy Orton appeared on the screen, back at Abigail’s gravesite. He drove the cross we saw last week into the dirt and said he would win the title. This was real dumb.

Final Thoughts —

Cena’s promo was great. The rest was not. Enjoy WrestleMania.