Lucha Underground results: Rey Mysterio, Matanza debut at fun Aztec Warfare II

In a Youtube-exclusive match, Joey Ryan entered Aztec Warfare 2 by stealing a win. It was a pretty entertaining match, and includes more of Vampiro comparing Joey Ryan to ’70s porn stars. Pentagon Jr. tells Fenix he will take his title. Catrina tells him that his master may be dark, but he doesn’t know darkness – and we see her flash into a skeleton briefly. She tells him he isn’t in Aztec Warfare, and he says he has zero fear – she tells him that’s only because he doesn’t know true fear. Catrina tells Fenix he will breathe his last breath, while Mil Muertes will reclaim his title.

A large tribal celebration takes place while the crowd chants “aztec warfare!” Striker and Vampiro welcome us to the show, and Vamp is wearing a checkered shirt and not a hoodie or T-shirt for the first time ever on the show. It’s a bit weird. Fenix comes out while Striker comes up with 5,000 superlatives to describe him. Famous B and his date are here, in a white suit with a gold tie and a white dress with a gold feather boa respectively. Rey comes down and gets a huge reaction. Surprisingly, he isn’t in his El Rey gear that he had on URFight. Fenix moves aside to let Rey get his props and another big chant breaks out.

Fenix hugs Rey and they go to a tie-up. Lucha tumbling sequence sets up a revolving door headscissor. Fenix gets 2 off of one of the most ridiculous things I’ve seen – a back-handspring Japanese armdrag. King Cuerno comes in and kicks both guys before hitting the Arrow of Death dive to Fenix on the floor. Rey kicks him off the apron to the floor and hits his Slip ‘n Slide splash under the ropes to the floor. Argenis returns and superkicks Fenix and Rey, getting a 2 on the latter. 619 hits Argenis and the frog splash hits to take Argenis out. Fenix dropkicks Cuerno to the floor and Johnny Mundo comes down before a commercial break.

We come back to Mundo walking down the steps – so we’ve missed nothing in-ring. Rey and Mundo face off and Mundo sends him into the corner with an uppercut. Fenix comes in and kicks Mundo into the corner before hitting a jumping yakuza kick. Joey Ryan comes down and Fenix gets 2 off a pair of kicks. Striker’s badly-edited voice work tells us that Joey won a qualifier, and Joey handcuffs himself to the barricade so he can’t be eliminate. Cuerno superkicks him for being an idiot. Famous B gives Joey one of his golden business cards. Prince Puma comes down and hits a giant jumping lariat to Fenix. Flying cutter to Cuerno! Double-jump SSP to a pile of luchadors on the floor! Sidewinder suplex is countered into a rana by Cuerno. Rey gets a cross armbreaker to Cuerno and he taps out!

Well, I sure didn’t see that coming. Jack Evans comes in and eats a beating. Rey climbs on Fenix’s shoulders for a splash onto Evans. Mundo pulls him to safety. Taya comes in as the first female entrant in Aztec Warfare this year. The remaining rudos and tecnicos get into a fist fight. Taya and Jack hold Rey down for the End of the World, but Cage (who is still a machine) comes down. He no-sells a dropkick from Evans and clotheslines him to death for a break.

Cage attacks Johnny before Taya tries to save him. She eats a nasty slam, and then Cage is tossed through Catrina’s office window. Mascarita Sagrada comes down and Cage recovers and lariats Johnny to Hell. Weapon X on the floor to Mundo! Puma hits a standing SSP to Mundo mid-ring to take him out. Marty the Moth comes down and Vamp asks if they should have a Most Creepy Title just for Marty and Joey. Marty takes off his shirt and swivels his hips before kicking Sagrada down. Eans hits a tornado kick, but Marty doesn’t feel it. Marty fishhooks Jack’s face before Drago comes down and we go to a break.

Evans goes for a Space Flying Tiger Drop, as you do, and Dragon sidesteps and kicks him. He kicks Joey as well and Drago fights with Jack in the crowd. Rey splashes Marty and takes him out of the match. Evans eats a crazy backdrop to the floor and hands face-first. The Mack comes down and hits a stunner on Marty. Cage and Mack slug it out and Mack hits a flying knee to send him down. Stunner to Cage while Puma chops Joey. Taya attacks Sagrada and Chavo comes down.

Drago apparently powerbombed Evans on the steps, but we didn’t see it. Well, he’ll regret that later for sure. Chavo locks on the camel clutch to take out Sagrada in an homage to Gory. Taya prevents a 619 to Cage and Mundo hits Cage in the head with a cinder block to take him out. Fenix German Suplexes Taya to take her out. PJ Black comes down and suplexes Drago on the steps. Drago tosses PJ’s face into the post. Aero Star returns from outer space and kicks PJ while Joey tells Aero to eliminate PJ. CANADIAN DESTROYER OFF THE TOP TO JACK EVANS takes him out.

Dragon Azteca Jr. comes down and dives onto the pile. Azteca makes use of his wacky kung fu training to kick PJ a few times.  OVER THE POST SOMERSAULT DIVE TO MACK ON THE FLOOR. Texano comes down for an ad break. Texano hits a flip dive onto a pile on the floor. PJ hits a double stomp to the back of Texano for 2. Texano lands a powerbonb and eliminates PJ. Mil Muertes comes down as Striker calls him “The Dangerous Precipitation”. Pentagon Jr. jumps him and Rey and Puma double team Mil to pin him. Catrina yells at Vampiro to get the f*ck out of here.

Dario Cueto returns on the ramp and says THIS IS HIS TEMPLE and he’s the boss. He announces Matanza as the next entrant and the crowd goes crazy. As the graphic states, The Monster Matanza Cueto comes down. Matanza takes out Fenix with a rewind powerslam – guaranteeing a new champion. Mack’s stunner is no-sold a sick head-landing German gets the win for Matanza. Another German beats Aero Star! Texano chokes him with the rope, but the same powerbomb Texano used pins him here. He eyes a trapped Joey Ryan and rips the bars to free him so he can kick his ass. Multiple Karelin lift gutwrench suplexes beat Joey Ryan! Matanza is essentially a top 20 moves video on Youtube, and it’s fantastic for a movie monster character.

Dragon hits kicks and elbows and a springboard dropkick slightly budges him before a huge Giant-style chokeslam takes Dragon Azteca Jr. out. Chavo talks to Cueto to make a deal, but Cueto tells him to off him. STANDING SSP BY MATANZA TAKES OUT CHAVO! Puma and Rey attack Matanza, but Rey gets tossed to the floor. A forklift-style fallaway slam and a German take out Puma! It’s down to Rey and Matanza for the Lucha Underground Title. Rey tries to use speed, but a big lariat takes him out.

Rey kicks the knees, then the balls while Striker quotes Jebediah Springfield. An enzuiguri sets up the 619, but Matanza catches him! Rey finally hits it and sends him down! A rana off the top is met with a powerbomb into a rewind powerslam for the win! Cueto proudly declares that his brother is now the Lucha Underground Champion. This wasn’t as good an overall match as the first Aztec Warfare, but it still flew by and was a far better Rumble match than any Royal Rumbles have been this decade. Matanza was booked flawlessly, and unlike every other “monster” character of the past 20 years, actually busted out athletically-impressive offense beyond chokes, chokeslams, and lariats. They made him a very unique monster act and did more to make him a star in one night with him than TNA has done in 13 years with Abyss. To see all the screenshots for the show, just click here.