Lucha Underground results: 7-way Gift of the Gods title match

We get a rundown of the Aztec Medallion matches so far this season, alongside Chavo stealing Cage’s medallion. Pentagon Jr’s demise is shown and we see Vampiro’s torture of him again. In his office, Dario puts stacks of cash in his bag and Cage runs in. Dario calls him the Medallion Machine and Dario tells him it’s his problem – and that if Chavo puts the medallion in the belt, it’s his. Dario and Cage come out of his office, and we get Striker asking what Cage is doing come out of it. 

Dario stands next to the medallion-less Gift of the Gods Title and announces a seven man match to determine the Gift of the Gods. Dario tells everyone who has a medallion to come out – so Chavo will have to go through Cage to actually get into the match. Texano comes out first and puts the medallion in – resulting in an amusing “well done!” by Dario. Joey comes down while Dario says he has a sixth sense for fashion. Sinestro comes down without Catrtina, but with a new cape and hood – “spooky!” according to Dario.

It’s “THE RETURN OF THE MACK! BIG MACK BABY MACK BABY MACK BABY!” and then “Sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy Star!” Dario is amazing, and a “strong star woman” according to him. Chavo comes down to a “chickenshit” chant. Cage kicks his ass, but only grabs a washer – and Chavo hits him with the chair to put the medallion in the belt. Dario puts Chavo in the match, resulting in “a sorry man” and Cage doing his goofy catchphrase and even goofier finisher to Chavo. Dario has to win best non-performer of the year just for this segment.

Mascarita Sagrada vs. Argenis vs. Daga vs. Kobra Moon

Famous B does Sagrada’s intro in his new 423-GET-FAME tie – which needs to be on ProWrestlingTees ASAP, and the phone number alone gets a chant. Striker talks about watching midget porn in high school talking about Brenda and Sagrada. Kobra snaps his neck on the rope and gets 2. Kobra Moon hits a Michonoku Driver, resulting in Vamp marking out since it was his WCW finisher. A tumbling exchange between Daga and Argenis is won by Argenis with a kick. Dada hits a dropkick on the apron, but a baseball slide misses and sends Daga to the floor where he eats an Asai moonsault.

Sagrada gets a victory roll on Kobra for 2. Sagarada goes for an armbar on Argenis, but Argenis Backlund lifts him into a One Winged Angel for 2. Corner running uppercut to Argenis by Daga, and a huge German gets 2. Daga gets a Gory special on Kobra and a Billy Goat’s Curse to Argenis. Argenis tosses Sagrada violently against the ropes. Crazy Fosbury Flop dive by Daga to the floor! Kobra Moon hits a fire thunder driver to Sagrada and lets Daga win. Famous B and Brenda console Sagrada while the fans chant “GET FAME 423!”

Backstage, Killshot suits up before Marty the Moth creeps up behind him and says he’s reporting for duty. He says they have a match and mocks him with gun sounds before a wacky kung fu movie fight breaks out between them. Killshot wins and give him a finger-gun bang while Marty cackles. Robert Rodriguez’s band plays Marty to the ring. Marty and Joey should be a creeper tag team in season three.

Marty the Moth vs. Killshot

Vamp talks about the importance of dogtags in the military, while Striker talks about Col. DeBeers, Private Daniels, and Vamp talks about Major Gunns. Marty bumrushes him with corner strikes and tosses him to the floor – where he lands on the floor. Marty teases a dive and leans over the rope – but then eats a high kick. Marty catches him off a flip dive and eats a powerslam. Vamp talks about being silent now because of his mental suffering and then Striker mocks him a bit. Release German by Marty and then a turnbuckle exploder gets 2. 

Vamp says that Marty spends a lot of time in dark corners, while Striker says it was more than likely dark booths. Killshot lands a corner elbow and then lands a basement hook kick. A somersault cutter gets 2 for Killshot. Corner running hook kick lands, but they wind up on the apron. Marty teases an apron German, but avoids that and lands an apron death valley driver. Vamp credits it to his military training, where I guess they had extensive viewing parties of Perry Saturn in WCW. They exchange punches and Marty lands a huge lariat. Back stomp gets 2 for Marty. Marty goes for a corner ass splash, but Killshot catches him for the modified One Winged Angel for the win – this was a lot of fun.

Marty jumps him after the match, while Striker says that wins and losses still matter – but this impresses Dario as well. So it’s kind of like Dana White wanting you to be an exciting fighter more than just being a winning fighter. Marty grabs the dogtags and then lands a top rope curbstomp before giving him a finger-gun bang to the head just like Killshot did to him in their backstage deal. I dug this – they have good chemistry together and they’re doing something new with each guy. 

Chavo Guerrero vs. Texano vs. Joey Ryan vs. The Mack (Baby) vs. Sinestro vs. Aerostar vs. Sexy Star

Chavo cheapshots Texano. Joey and Sexy go at it and she gets 2 off a backslide. Joey tries to kiss her, but Chavo stops it so he can get 2 off a schoolboy. Mack sends Joey outside with a dropkick and the faces stand proudly. Mack and Sexy have a tumbling exchange and then Texano and Mack go at it with Mack going for a sunset flip. Texano takes the top off of Aerostar and traps him in the corner with chops.S

Aerostar lands a springboard tornado DDT for 2. Superkick by Texano, but he gets sent to the floor. Sinestro goes after Aerostar, but Aerostar lands a flying sunset flip for 2. A wacky exchange leads to Sinestro crotching himself and eating a kick to the face. Sinestro flip dives onto the pile on the floor. Sexy sells a leg injury, and then goes up top for a crossbody off the top to the floor onto the pile. Joey lands a pumphandle slam for 2. Backstabber to Joey gets 2 for Sinestro. 

Sinestro lariats Texano, but Texano lands one on him when he runs into the opposite corner. Pop-up rana gets 2 for Aerostar. Sexy lands a running dropkick to Joey and stomps on the stomach. Mack and Sexy team up to chop the hair off of Joey’s chest. Double team legdrop/kneedrop thing from the combo. Chavo gets another “chickenshit” splash, but 2 off a frog splash to Joey.

Everyone gangs up on Chavo. Stunner. Codebreaker. Texano bomb. Springboard legdrop, and a springboard dive hit him. Then Cage comes in. Hey no fair – you already hit your finish on him earlier. He kicks everyone else’s ass – I guess to ensure that Chavo wins so then he can beat Chavo and get the shot he feels is his. Steiner screwdriver to Joey Ryan gives Chavo the win and the Gift of the Gods. Cage congratulates Chavo on being champion and says that Dario told him that Chavo already agreed to face him for the title next week. I like that – they gave you a reason to explain things without words, and then gave you some as well to fully explain it. 

In Vampiro’s temple, we see Pentagon tied up while Vampiro torments him and says he must break him to make him strong. Vamp promises to torment him until he refuses to show signs of suffering. Vamp canes his own head and talks about Ian trying to suppress him with pills and tells Pentagon that the beating he’s getting here is nothing compared to what Matanza did. As he prepares to swing a barb wire bat at his spine, the screen goes black.

This was an outstanding episode of the show – easily one of the best of the season. They built up Killshot’s character well, gave Marty something to do, re-established Cage as a top act, showcased Dario in his best talking segment yet, furthered the Vampiro-Pentagon issue, and made a perfect use of their limited time to get things done.

To see all of the screenshots for it, just click here.