Impact Wrestling results: Mexican Death Match

This show was marked by lots of silliness, strange events, and subpar wrestling. The main event featured four pinatas, a staple gun, a baseball bat, and Legos. 

Eddie Edwards opened the episode. He was wearing a Rocky shirt underneath a black leather jacket. He was carrying a kendo stick. He called out Impact World Champion Austin Aries, who took the bait and came out to the ring with his bodyguard and tag team partner, Killer Kross.

Aries, carrying his own microphone, while walking the ramp said: “I am the greatest professional wrestler walking the planet.”

After some back-and-forth, Edwards hit Aries with his microphone. Kross nailed Edwards with the kendo stick and then put him in a rear naked choke while Aries slapped on the figure four leglock. Aries then put Edwards’ head inside a steel chair and grabbed another chair. As Aries was about to swing the chair to hit Edwards, former number one contender Moose ran to the ring.

Moose grabbed his own chair and cleaned house on Aries and Kross, chasing them out of the ring. It was Moose’s first appearance since his Slammiversary loss to Aries.

Matt Sydal defeated Zachary Wentz

Wentz, who Josh Mathews called an “Independent darling,” looked good, hitting a corkscrew crossbody block and a big dive over the top rope to the outside on Sydal. Sydal ran under the ring and then came out on the other side. He ran sneakily around the ring and clubbed an unsuspecting Wentz.

Wentz hit a standing moonsault but hit Sydal’s knees when he tried a running Shooting Star Press. Sydal hit a knee, a kick, and then a reverse swinging neckbreaker for the win.

They promoted Impact’s first television tapings in Mexico City on September 13 and 14. Then they showed a promo for Chris Jericho’s Rock ‘N’ Wrestling Rager cruise, where Mathews said it would be Ring of Honor vs. Impact, advertising Marty Scurll vs. Sami Callihan and LAX vs. The Young Bucks.

In the flashback match of the week, Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian, dressed like the Road Warriors, called out James Storm. In a singles match, Storm pinned Daniels, but AJ Styles, with short hair, came to the ring and clotheslined Storm.

Fallah Bahh was walking backstage and gave a gift back to his partner KM.

Fallah Bahh & KM defeated The Desi Hit Squad (Gursinder Singh & Rohit Raju)

What was in the bag? New ring attire for KM. KM wore blue wrestling pants underneath a white thong, like Bahh wears. KM also took off his shoes and wrestled barefoot.

Last week, Scarlett Bordeaux, during her “Smokeshow” segment, told KM to follow Bahh’s lead more often, so this was KM’s attempt to listen to her.

This was a joke match, with KM painfully trying to wrestle barefoot and get used to his new ring gear.

Bahh threw his typical hand thrusts and chops, and he and KM did their patented roll over both members of the Desi Hit Squad. Bahh got the pin on Raju after a Yokozuna splash in the corner.

Grado ran into Bordeaux in the back and told her that he feels inadequate and can’t impress his girlfriend Katarina, who seems enthralled with Grado’s tag team partner, Joe Hendry. Bordeaux told him that she would help him next week if he joined her for an interview, but first he had to do something for her.

They then cut to clips of Grado, dancing shirtless, at a strip club, with Bordeaux and her doting assistant watching. Grado will be a guest on Bordeaux’s “Smokeshow” next week.

Kiera Hogan (w /Allie) defeated Alisha Edwards

This was a back-and-forth match. Hogan hit a running splash, a knee, and kick in the corner on Edwards. Hogan, who has red and yellow hair, won with a swinging neckbreaker.

After the match, Allie grabbed the microphone and called out Knockouts Champion Su Yung. She promised revenge against Yung, who defeated her friends Madison Rayne and Rosemary.

She said that every time she is about to pin Yung, Tessa Blanchard makes an appearance — so she challenged Blanchard and Yung to a triple threat match next week.

They showed Johnny Impact at a swimming pool talking about how he was going to defeat Kongo Kong, when out of nowhere, Kong attacked him. They fought back-and-forth, but the fight was spliced, and not continuous, looking like it was heavily edited. Kong tried to spear Impact into the pool, but he moved and Kong crashed into the pool.

Backstage, Blanchard accepted Allie’s challenge, but asked that the match be for the championship.

Rich Swann did an interview where he said he joined Impact because it was the buzz of the pro wrestling world and that he wants to be the X Division Champion.

Brandon Tidwell & Mr. Atlantis defeated Trevor Lee & Caleb Konley (w/ Eli Drake)

For some reason, Mr. Atlantis pinned Konley with a roll-up in a quick match. The highlight of the match was Drake on commentary. Don Callis at one point asked if Drake could replace Mathews, and Drake said yes — if someone wants to give him a second paycheck.

OGz (w/ King) run over young LAX fan

Konnan and LAX were celebrating after winning their street fight a week ago against King and the OGz. They showed them, at night, at some sort of house party, talking about how the feud was over. As they were leaving to go to Konnan’s car with a group, including a young kid wearing a championship belt, King and the OGz raced across the street in an attempt to hit the group. Everyone else got away, except for the kid.

In a poorly-filmed segment, the group turned around and saw the boy laying out in the middle of the street. The group ran over to him and looked down on the boy to end the segment.

Sami Callihan defeated Pentagon Jr. in a Mexican Death Match

This was essentially a falls count anywhere, no disqualification match, with lots of pinatas. The match started with both men swinging steel chairs at one another. Mathews said the moment was a “big fight feel,” which is the most overused phrase by wrestlers in the Impact and the WWE.

There were of tough spots in this match. Callihan powerbombed Pentagon onto two chairs inside the ring, but only hit one of the chairs. 

They used four pinatas in the match, all of which contained some type of weapon. One of them included a staple gun. Pentagon stapled Callihan’s arms and crotch and then his hat to his head. He then ripped that hat off.

Hair clippers were inside another pinata. Pentagon attempted to shave Callihan’s beard, but Callihan fought him and threw the clippers outside the ring. A third pinata contained a baseball bat that Callihan used a few times. He put a garbage can over Pentagon’s head and then hit the trash can. A fourth pinata contained Legos.

Callihan piledrived Pentagon on the Legos for the near fall. Pentagon hit a low block, then piledrived Callihan on the Legos, but Callihan kicked out.

Pentagon brought a table into the ring. Callihan took control and eventually piledrived Pentagon onto the table for the win.