AEW Dark results: Varsity Blondes vs. Dark Order’s Cabana & Reynolds
The Big Takeaways:
Dustin Rhodes is looking to take out the entire Dark Order, Peter Avalon laid down the Pretty Peter’s Pageant Provocation challenge, and the Varsity Blondes (Griff Garrison & Brian Pillman Jr.) picked up their first wins over established members of the AEW roster.
Show Report —
As in recent weeks, Anthony Ogogo joined the regular commentary team of Excalibur and Taz in the early parts of the show.
Sonny Kiss (w/ Joey Janela) defeated Baron Black
Kiss avoided strikes with his flexibility until Black finally caught him with a backstabber. Black went for a suplex, but Kiss rolled through into a cradle for two. Kiss made his comeback with dropkicks and a diving hurricanrana, concluding with a step-up leg drop. Kiss went to the top rope, but Black cut him off and set him up for a powerbomb. Kiss somewhat rolled through with another rana and landed the split-leg drop for the win.
Brian Cage defeated Danny Limelight
This was an awesome little sprint here. Cage shrugged off a dropkick as Limelight taunted him. Limelight evaded a forearm and landed a springboard hurricanrana followed by a nice looking tornillo. He got cocky, so Cage took control and beat him down with power moves. Limelight escaped out of Weapon X and hit a kick, but Cage leveled him with a clothesline. Limelight walked the ropes to avoid a corner move to hit a destroyer, but Cage popped up and hit a power bomb, a buckle bomb, and the Drill Claw to end it.
Nyla Rose (w/ Vickie Guerrero) defeated Alex Gracia
This was Rose’s first match since losing at Full Gear and it was a squash. Gracia tried to hit forearms to no effect, so Rose flattened her with a shoulderblock. Gracia got no comeback as Rose continued to hit power moves, concluding with the Beast Bomb for the win.
After the match, Guerrero did her “Excuse me!” bit as the crowd booed. She called herself intelligent for attacking Brandi Rhodes and demanded that the audience applaud for Rose. Rose dumped Gracia out of the ring and she and Guerrero walked off.
The Waiting Room with Britt Baker, D.M.D.
Baker went through her cliché “current events” schtick, addressing Kenny Omega and Sting as Rebel laughed annoyingly. She then brought up Thunder Rosa, accusing her of needing the security officials to avoid a fight with Baker.
Dustin Rhodes, in a suit and with half his face painted, was brought out as the first guest. They promoted the new Dustin and Cody action figures. Baker asked why Cody got paid so much more than Dustin, but Dustin said he paid more in taxes than Baker made in total. He then asked if her boyfriend (Adam Cole) won Match of the Year (which Cody and Dustin won).
Baker said she sensed darkness coming from Dustin, but Dustin said he will go to the ends of the world to take out each and every one of the Dark Order, starting with Preston “10” Vance tomorrow.
The show closed with musical guest Marko Stunt, who played guitar and sang a song that I couldn’t place. Not a bad performance.
This was better than the previous couple editions of the Waiting Room. Dustin’s promo was excellent, but I still don’t understand how the gratingly obnoxious Baker and Rebel characters could possibly make this segment better than just a standard sit-down interview.
Preston “10” Vance (w/ Alan “5” Angels) defeated Aaron Solow
Most of the Dark Order joined for 10’s entrance, but only 5 stuck around. 10 overpowered Solow early on until Solow hit a dropkick. Solow tried to match 10’s power, but couldn’t, and 10 hit a spinebuster followed by the Dark Order pose. 10 hit a series of power moves. Solow made his comeback after avoiding a corner attack with a kick, but was caught out of a cazadora and downed with a wheelbarrow suplex. 10’s ripcord lariat to the back of Solow’s head finished it.
Peter Avalon defeated Louie Valle
They spelled Valle’s name wrong on the videoboard. The two traded offense at the start until Avalon cut Valle off with a kick and laid in strikes. Valle made a comeback with a diving dropkick and a clothesline, but Avalon caught him with a Samoan drop. The Marti-Knees followed for the pin. After the match, Avalon issued an open challenge with the caveat that they had to be well groomed. He called it Pretty Peter’s Pageant Provocation.
The Gunn Club (Billy Gunn, Austin Gunn & Colten Gunn) defeated Shawn Dean, Sean Maluta & RYZIN
Gunn Club entered on a golf cart labeled the “Taz Taxi.” Taz berated them from commentary before the match. Colten and Dean started off. Billy and Austin held Dean in the corner while Colten did a wacky strike where he mimed a slam dunk. Austin tagged in, hitting Maluta with a clothesline for two. Maluta fought back with a Samoan drop. Austin used the ropes in a move on Maluta, but RYZIN laid him out on the outside.
After a beatdown, Austin and Dean hit double clotheslines, allowing Billy to get the hot tag. Billy dispatched multiple opponents, but RYZIN avoided the Fameasser. We got a parade of big moves, concluding with RYZIN hitting a thrust kick on Billy. Billy rolled out of the way on RYZIN’s moonsault and hit the Fameasser to win.
Red Velvet defeated Dani Jordyn
Velvet got the advantage early on by driving Jordyn’s face into the turnbuckle, but Jordyn escaped with a cradle. They traded kicks through the ropes and Jordyn hit a nice rope-hang DDT. Jordyn taunted with her “burn book” gimmick, but Velvet fired up with clotheslines and kicks. A cazadora bulldog and a standing moonsault got two, and a mountain bomb followed by a running dropkick got three.
Jurassic Express (Luchasaurus & Marko Stunt) (w/ Jungle Boy) defeated Falco & Mike Magnum
Falco & Magnum made their debuts here. Stunt taunted them early on before a cool lucha exchange with Falco, planting him with a DDT. Magnum tagged in and was met with strikes from Luchasaurus before a couple assisted cazadora sentons from Stunt continued the beatdown. Stunt attacked Falco on the apron, but was met with a clothesline from Magnum.
Stunt quickly escaped to tag in Luchasaurus, who beat down both opponents. Luchasaurus hit a reverse Death Valley Driver on Falco, but Magnum broke it up. Stunt tagged in, Magnum ate a kick from each, and Falco took a chokeslam from Luchasaurus. Stunt then hit a Last Shot on Falco for the pinfall.
Brandon Cutler defeated Fuego Del Sol
Both men displayed solid athleticism here. Del Sol went for his tornado DDT right away, but Cutler had it scouted. Del Sol hit a tijeras and sent Cutler to the outside, but Cutler avoided a dive and landed a dive of his own. Cutler landed awkwardly, allowing Del Sol to hit a springboard splash and a cradle for two.
Cutler tossed Del Sol around and landed the LDL for two. Del Sol fired back with kicks, but Cutler hit a diving forearm. Del Sol fought out of the TPK and hit a moonsault and some combination offense. He called for the tornado DDT, but instead hit a sliced bread and a Cross Rhodes for two. Cutler caught the DDT attempt and hit the TPK for the win, his sixth straight.
Ivelisse defeated Skyler Moore
Moore applied a couple cradles early, but was cut off with a kick. Ivelisse hit a curb stomp into the turnbuckle for two. Moore got another cradle, but was met with a clothesline. Ivelisse locked on a sleeper until Moore escaped with a jawbreaker. Moore hit a falling powerslam for two and caught Ivelisse, but Ivelisse transitioned into an octopus hold, forcing Moore to tap.
Big Swole defeated Lindsay Snow
Swole is the #1 contender in the women’s division, so it was a little surprising that this went longer than almost everything else on the show. They performed chain wrestling at the bell until Snow went for a choke. Swole fought out and landed an axe kick. Snow fought out of a bear hug, but was downed with a shoulderblock before hitting one of her own.
Snow was cut off with a back elbow, but she fought back with a lariat. She followed that up with a face wash in the corner. Swole applied a cradle and avoided a knee strike, allowing her to hit a flurry of offense. She tried to lock on a crucifix cradle, but her feet were under the ropes. After moving them, she got the three count.
The Hybrid 2 (Jack Evans & Angélico) defeated VSK & Sotheara Chhun
TH2 have a match with the Young Bucks on Wednesday’s Dynamite. Chhun made his debut in this match. VSK landed kicks at the start and he and Chhun took control with simultaneous suplexes. They went for dives, but both were cut off. In the ring, TH2 hit double team moves, but on an assisted standing 450, Evans stopped the official’s count and they did the Young Bucks’ flexing pose. Evans took out VSK with a dive and Angélico locked on the Navarro Death Roll for the submission.
Diamanté defeated Tesha Price
After some brief chain wrestling, Price flattened Diamanté with a lariat. She went for a cartwheel kick, but Diamanté caught her and landed a German suplex. Diamanté kept up the offense with a corner dropkick and locked on a rear chinlock. Price fought out and hit a neckbreaker. She hit a running knee and a bulldog for two, but Diamanté returned with a sliced bread for another two. Price attempted a cradle, but Diamanté kicked out and hit Code Red for three.
– Alex Marvez interviewed The Hybrid 2. Evans called their win a massacre and said that after they beat the Young Bucks, they’re coming for the championships.
Shanna defeated Freya States
This was States’ first AEW match. She’s really tall, probably six feet or so. She went for a chokeslam, but Shanna fought out and hit a flipping neckbreaker. States caught Shanna and hit power moves. Shanna escaped a submission and laid in strikes, but States caught her yet again. States set up Shanna in the tree of woe, but Shanna avoided a cannonball and laid in kicks and a stunner. States powered out of a tiger suplex, but Shanna hit a tilt-a-whirl DDT. A running dropkick and a tiger suplex bridge got the pin and second straight win for Shanna.
The Acclaimed (Anthony Bowens & Max Caster) defeated Michael Nakazawa & Jon Cruz
Caster taunted his opponents with rapping during the entrance, then Bowens took the mic and said that The Acclaimed have arrived.
Nakazawa surprised Bowens with oil early on and nearly got the win with a slipping senton. Bowens cut off Cruz with a facebuster as The Acclaimed isolated Cruz with frequent tags and double teams. After a long beatdown, Cruz escaped a suplex and hit a bulldog, buying him the time to tag in Nakazawa for the hot tag.
The Acclaimed avoided a clothesline from Nakazawa, but Nakazawa dispatched Caster and hit Bowens with a spear for two. Nakazawa went for his underwear gimmick, but Bowens leveled him with a forearm. The Acclaimed sent Cruz packing and hit Acclaim 2 Fame for the pin.
Varsity Blondes (Griff Garrison & Brian Pillman Jr.) defeated Dark Order (Colt Cabana & Alex Reynolds)
The Blondes face FTR on this week’s Dynamite. Garrison and Reynolds started off, and Garrison took control with his size advantage. Cabana tried to get involved, but the Blondes overwhelmed him with the numbers advantage. They brought both of the Dark Order back into the ring with hip tosses and hit corner attacks for a two count.
Pillman went for a springboard, but with the official distracted, Cabana took him out, allowing the Dark Order to take advantage. Dark Order maintained control with tags, often attacking illegally with the official’s attention diverted. Pillman finally escaped to Garrison for the hot tag.
Garrison ran wild on both opponents, continuing the attack with corner splashes on Cabana. A Samoan driver looked to finish it, but Reynolds broke up the pin attempt. Cabana escaped a double team move and Reynolds hit a discus forearm for two. Garrison almost got the win with a jackknife cover. The Blondes then hit a Doomsday blockbuster to get their first victory over established AEW roster members.
– Dustin Rhodes was interviewed by Dasha about his upcoming match with 10. He said that there’s history between the Dark Order and the Nightmare Family that he hasn’t forgotten. He will go to the ends of the Earth to destroy every single member of the Dark Order, and 10 just so happens to be first.
– The Blondes were interviewed by Alex Marvez about their upcoming match with FTR. Pillman said that AEW has the best tag team roster out there today, and even though they’re inexperienced, the Blondes make up for it with their athleticism and genetics.
Final Thoughts:
Aside from Dustin Rhodes’ promos, nothing on this two hour-plus edition of AEW Dark was Dynamite-worthy. It was also bizarre to hear no mention of Impact or the AEW World Championship situation despite the fact that Kenny Omega was literally appearing on Impact within minutes of Dark’s conclusion.