AEW Dark results: Private Party vs. Sonny Kiss & Brandon Cutler

Video —

Report —

The Big News: Death Triangle ran in after the main event to lay a beating on five babyfaces. It took three more, in the form of Best Friends and Orange Cassidy, to run them off.

**********

When looking up this episode on YouTube I couldn’t help but notice the large number of episodes (including this one) where the thumbnail is of the Jurassic Express.

**********

Jurassic Express (with Marko Stunt) defeated Kip Sabian & Peter Avalon (with Penelope Ford & Leva Bates)

Speaking of the Jurassic Express, they are here to kick off Dark this week. Avalon, who comes into this match at 0-10, took forever to start his promo. He got as far as saying we were in Denver before the Express’ music began. This doesn’t seem right, but the graphic indicates this is only the second time Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus are teaming together in a two-on-two tag match.

Jungle Boy ran wild on both heels and was going for some sort of slingshot maneuver, but Penelope tripped him up and Sabian took over. Sabian and Avalon worked well together. Avalon missed a beautiful moonsault, giving Jungle Boy room to crawl for a tag. However. Ford grabbed one of Leva’s books and threw it into the ring to distract the referee, so the heels kept control.

Unfortunately for Sabian and Avalon, their ladies could not get along. Bates and Ford began arguing with one another, which distracted the team long enough for Luchasaurus to get the tag. He had it almost had it won with a moonsault to Avalon, but Sabian bum-rushed into the pile, breaking up the cover. Luchasaurus gave Sabian the tail whip, allowing Jungle Boy to pin Avalon following an assisted cutter.

**********

Tony Schiavone and Dasha Gonzalez previewed the rest of the show. Dasha wanted to know why Tony was wearing a Nightmare Family shirt. Turns out 20% of the proceeds of that shirt up until March 14 will be donated to Planned Pethood.

**********

Jimmy Havoc defeated Severino Corrente

I believe “Severino Corrente” loosely translates to “lamb being led to slaughter.”

Corrente had his fingers yanked back. Most people would be like “I’m done”. Instead Corrente punched Havoc to no avail. Jimmy used a discus elbow to the face and went for some sort of fireman’s carry, but Corrente raked the eyes.

Corrente started to build momentum, but then he ran chest-first into Jimmy’s feet. He did duck an Acid Rainmaker and used a German suplex into the corner turnbuckles. He tried to fishhook Havoc, but instead Jimmy bit his fingers. A series of impact moves followed, including a leg hook DDT and finished off Corrente with an Acid Rainmaker for the pin.

Havoc beckoned to the back, daring Luther and Mel to come out. Unfortunately, you get what you ask for, as Luther flew down the ramp and attacked Havoc from behind, eventually laying out Havoc with a DDT on the ramp.

**********

Hikaru Shida defeated Abadon

Abadon is one of the most unique looking wrestlers on the roster. She has done her face paint to look like blood is seeping from her forehead into her eye and down her cheek. She is certainly a sight to behold. By comparison, Hikaru Shida does not look like she has blood coming out of her eye.

Some of the crowd chanted for Abadon to “eat her soul” despite being the heel and Shida being very well liked. Abadon tried to eat Shida’s hand, which threw off the number one ranked contender. Abadon looked really good here and I really hope she’s not one and done. Abadon had her tied in the ropes and licked Shida’s face. Shida was not happy about this, possibly for more than one reason.

Abadon didn’t sell for much, but she definitely felt it when Shida used a running knee in the corner and a missile dropkick. Shida nailed a knee to the back of the head, but Abadon almost won with the Edge-a-matic. Shida finally managed to hit a Shining Wizard for the win.

**********

Backstage, Dasha asked Jimmy Havoc for an update on his injuries. Havoc thanked Luther for doing it, so being the nice guy Luther is, he attacked Havoc again and had to be dragged away.

**********

The Librarians were telling us about the newest book of the month, which is Written In The Stars. They came upon Colt Cabana, who was listening to a podcast instead of reading a book. Avalon kept recommending authors, so Colt recommended podcasts. This led to a challenge for a match.

Leva went back and told Colt she loves his podcast.

**********

Private Party defeated Sonny Kiss & Brandon Cutler

A few weeks ago, Cutler almost beat Private Party by himself when his partner, Shawn Spears walked out. So how will things be when he has a loyal partner? Either way, Cutler is dueling it out with Peter Avalon for the worst record in AEW at 0-9.

Cutler did a great job countering Isiah Kassidy and Marq Quen, much like he did the last time they met. This time Sonny got involved and it ended up in a standoff. Excalibur wondered if Quen and Sonny got their hair done at the same place, which led Taz to say he thinks they go to the same “Dye-ist”. While this conversation was going on, Kiss went down to a combo Rude Awakening/Double Foot Stomp, giving Private Party the advantage.

Private Party mimicked Kiss while getting the heat on him. Cutler got the hot tag and used a beautiful springboard double clothesline. Cutler looked good, laying a beating on both men. We did have a contrived spot where Kassidy was laying on the middle rope and had to stay hanging there while Cutler did moves to Quen first.

Get out the hammer and nails, because this team of Cutler and Kiss are BUILDING MOMENTUM! Kiss went for a boot on Quen, but Marq moved and Kiss ended up in the splits. Quen went for what turned into a Moonsault with double knees. Cutler got in and started doing moves without getting a tag. The referee kept telling him he’s not legal, but Cutler ignored him and hit the TPK on both members of Private Party. Kiss went to the middle rope, but Kassidy prevented him from leaping off. Quen tagged in as Private Party nailed Kiss with the Gin and Juice for the win.

Suddenly, from out of nowhere (or just off the camera), Death Triangle ran in to attack Private Party! PAC, Pentagon and Fenix ended up laying out not only them, but also Cutler and Kiss, who tried to make the save.

PAC took the mic and told all of AEW that if they continue to disrespect athletes of their caliber, they’ll get exactly what they asked for. Joey Janela tried to run in for the save, but was also laid out. Best Friends and Orange Cassidy then hit the ring to send the Death Triangle reeling as the show closed