AEW Dark results: Private Party vs. Shawn Spears & Brandon Cutler
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The Big News: Shawn Spears and Peter Avalon both walked out on their partners this week, leading to their teams losing.
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This past Tuesday, during my critically-acclaimed AEW Dark report, as Joey Janela hit Kip Sabian in the head with a prosthetic leg, I quipped “Do I really have nothing better to do on Tuesday nights?” Apparently AEW listened and here we are, for one week only, on Friday.
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Excalibur and Taz started the show by introducing all the matches.
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Luther defeated Sonny Kiss
51-year old Luther was making his AEW in-ring debut here. It still makes him younger than WWE Universal Champion Goldberg and ROH World Champion PCO. Not sure whatever happened to Mel and I wonder how she now feels about shaving her head for that Nightmare Collective angle.
Luther charged at the bell with a series of chops. Kiss tried to combat them with his speed, but Luther took his head off with a big boot. This was not the most exciting match in the world, but the fans were into it.
Kiss made his comeback with a series of boots and kicks and hit the Axes and O’s for a two count. Luther rolled out of the way of a moonsault, caught Kiss on a hurricanrana attempt, and laid him out with a powerbomb. Luther slapped on a Camel Clutch and began clawing at Kiss’ face before the submission.
Luther appeared to not want to break the hold, so Jimmy Havoc hit the ring, which caused Luther to run off.
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Tony Schiavone and Dasha Gonzalez were high above the arena to talk about Revolution tomorrow night. Gonzalez wants title changes, especially the World title.
They also talked about how great it is to work with Excalibur and Taz.
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The Dark Order (Evil Uno & Stu Grayson w/ Alex Reynolds and John Silver) defeated Michael Nakazawa & Peter Avalon (w/ Leva Bates)
This might be the weirdest team in wrestling history.
Dark Order will take on Scorpio Sky & Frankie Kazarian of SoCal Uncensored tomorrow night at Revolution. Bates took the mic and chastised Avalon for insulting every city they go to. Bates said she brought the perfect book for him: Don’t Be A Dick.
Avalon took the mic, again, when Nakazawa tried to pour oil all over himself. Avalon said he didn’t want any of that comedy crap. He ordered Nakazawa out of the ring, but Avalon then slipped on the oil Nakazawa already spilled on the mat and Nakazawa started anyway. The Dark Order immediately cut off Nakazawa and laid in a beating.
Nakazawa slipped out of a suplex and tried to make a tag. However, ladies and gentlemen, right here on AEW Dark, we saw the biggest betrayal since Benedict Arnold sold the plans to West Point to the British. Nakazawa reached for the tag, but Avalon jumped off the apron and walked away! Nakazawa was quickly pinned with Fatality.
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They replayed the great Cody-MJF video package that aired on Dynamite.
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Dr. Britt Baker defeated Miranda Alize
Alize, in her second AEW match, was here to get her first win, but the booking god’s were not kind to her and she went one-on-one with The Doctor.
Alize held her own briefly, but Baker quickly took over. Baker actually used an old William Regal trick where she got Alize down in the corner and back kicked her while the referee gave her a warning.
Baker hit a corkscrew fisherman neckbreaker for a near fall that she disagreed about. That gave Miranda a few seconds to make her comeback, but it wasn’t enough. Baker took her down with a slingblade and locked on the Lockjaw for the submission.
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Private Party (Marq Quen & Isiah Kassidy) defeated Shawn Spears & Brandon Cutler (w/ Tully Blanchard)
Spears is really scraping the bottom of the barrel the last few weeks when it comes to getting tag team partners. From the winless Peter Avalon to the winless Brandon Cutler. What Cutler lacks in wins, he makes up for in having more polyhedral dice than anyone else in the locker room. Private Party spent three minutes throwing their beads to the crowd.
Cutler, Quen, and Kassidy had a great sequence where they went for moves on each other, but they kept being avoided or reversed. No one hit anything and it ended in a triple dropkick.
Spears did not like these shenanigans and demanded to be tagged in, which he did and took over when he got in. Cutler got back in and hit a nice series of moves on Private Party, before Spears tagged himself back in. The fans chanted “10,” and Spears shook his finger at the crowd and told them “no.”
Spears got the heat on Kassidy. While he distracted the referee, Tully tried to encourage Cutler to put the boots to Kassidy, which he refused to do. Kassidy eventually made the hot tag to Quen, who ran wild on both Spears and Cutler.
Quen did a dive over the top rope and Spears pulled Cutler in the way to take the blow. Spears yelled at Cutler and called him stupid. Then, ladies and gentlemen, right here on AEW Dark, in the biggest betrayal since Benedict Arnold sold the plans to West Point to the British, Spears threw his partner in the ring and walked out on him.
Cutler then hit the TPK on Quen and almost got the pin. Cutler begged Spears to come back. The fans chanted for Cutler as Spears walked off. Cutler then got finished off with Gin & Juice.
Just forget the same exact thing happened in the second match of the show.
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That does it for Dark. Thank you for reading. Stay tuned for AEW Revolution tomorrow night and Dynamite next Wednesday!